I’m an animist and a down-to-earth mystic. I see the world as both beautiful and alive and full of suffering. I think suffering gives grace meaning and I revere it; this makes me an outlier as far as this culture goes. James Baldwin was talking about being an artist and an outsider when he said that those who want to do away with suffering are “unlettered in the language of the heart”. This is very true to me; I think a heart has to have some openness to being moved and pierced in order to be alive or responsive or have something to give, and this is where the kinds of art and music and poetry that I love come from. It’s my native land and language.
I’m Creole and I grew up poor and in the south, in the country and in a rough mean suburb of New Orleans. It was incredibly hard to be queer or trans or even a woods-loving weirdo in that setting and I was really hurt by how bad I was treated by so many people; I have a hard time describing how much.
That’s always with me. I will never be a person who that didn’t happen to, and yes, it does define me–not totally but in some ways, at least in terms of fate. But I can make meaning and beauty out of it, I can find ways of connecting from it–and it tends to separate me so I have to work really hard to try to shine something meaningful and connecting out of it. That’s the calling and destiny part of it, which is how I define myself.
It takes practice every day to be committed to it, and I am committed to it.
Fierce and tender artist, rebel, healer babe
Gender Id/Pronoun : Woman/Trans Woman
Age : mid 30s
Location: Oakland
