James

 

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I’m James, I’m 20, I’m a big brother, a best friend, an advocate, a writer, a college student… I’m transgender, and I’m visible. 

Being trans isn’t simply changing from one gender to another. It’s a constant battle; trying to connect what your brain feels your body should be to what it is, along with the years of pain and self-loathing to even come to the realization that you are trans is a long, constant war. 

I myself have gone through a lot, especially regarding my struggle with my identity.  When I first came out, I felt ugly, unworthy of love, a burden on my friends and family, and felt that I had no future because I was trapped in a body I felt was not my own; the prospect of a future as a man seemed like nothing but a dream I barely dared to dream because access to hormones, to surgeries, even just to people like me weren’t available to me.
At that time, I did not have the voice to speak up for myself. I may have been out as transgender, but I was far from visible. It’s hard to be visible and advocate for yourself when you’re isolated from the world, and cut your own voice short.
Over the years, I can pretty confidently say that I have found my voice.
I did not get to where I am now by being alone. I found a support system, or two, or three, I was given resources to receive the medical care I need, and through that I powered through some of the darkest times of my life to come out the other side to where and who I am now.

Still going, still moving forward, always having obstacles thrown in my path, but still moving forward and always ready to use the voice I worked so hard to find.